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She d had ample evidence of it in Hawaii. But that was all it was. It wasn t love. She wouldn t love
him.
Couldn t.
Well, we re here. Together, he finally said.
Yes.
How have you been since we got back?
Busy.
Ditto. You bidding on the downtown parking garage?
Yes.
We will, too. I also heard there s going to be a new hotel going up on Seventh Street.
I heard about that, too. Haven t seen any specs yet.
She hated that they d been reduced to one-liners about business, that the ease they d shared with
each other that week had dissolved into basic business discussions.
That had been her wish, hadn t it? That they keep things business only?
But this was different. Before, they had been comfortable with each other.
They were seated at the same table together. Tish the traitor finally made her appearance and
gave her a knowing smile throughout dinner. Ella felt trapped between Clay and Tish. She was mad at
Tish, felt set up, and had nothing to say to Clay, who seemed content to spend his time talking to one
of the city councilmen seated at their table. When dinner was over, she nearly leaped from her chair.
Where are you going? Tish asked.
The entire table looked at her.
She had no idea where she was going.
Ladies room, she finally managed, making a beeline out of the ballroom.
She washed her hands and took the opportunity to stare at her reflection in the opulent oversized
mirror in the seating area of the restroom. Her face was flushed, pink circles dotting her cheeks. Her
entire body was hot. Maybe she was coming down with something.
Yeah& a case of Clay. Of having to sit next to him and not touch him, not kiss him, not laugh with
him, not be able to enjoy the easy conversation they d always had with each other.
Dammit, she missed him. She wanted him back. And she wasn t going to be able to have him.
She sat on one of the chairs and stared at herself in the mirror.
Why couldn t she have him? Why did she have to be so afraid? Everyone died. Not everyone died
young. Clay was strong, healthy.
She thought James had been healthy, too.
She laid her head in her hands, fighting back the ache, the memories, the fear.
Honey, you can t spend the night in here hiding.
Her head snapped up. Tish.
I m not hiding.
Yes, you are. And you have to stop. Tish crouched down and laid her hand over Ella s. James is
gone. You re still here. You have to start living again.
I have been. I ve built our company up. I ve gotten up every day and worked day and night. I
haven t laid around and felt sorry for myself once.
I know. But that s work. That s distraction. That s not living. You have a chance to love someone
and you re putting up any barrier you can to keep it from happening.
She started to argue, wanted to put the blame on Clay, but she knew it would be a lie. You re
right.
So what are you going to do about it?
Just the thought of going out there and facing him, of telling him how she felt, made her stomach
clench, made her feel sick. But she had to try. I don t really know, Tish. I guess not hiding in the
bathroom would be a good start.
The tables were cleared and the room darkened by the time she had fixed her lipstick and made her
way back to the ballroom. The band was playing and couples twirled together out on the sizeable
dance floor. She wound her way around people milling about. Her table was empty. Everyone must
be involved in conversation or dancing. She laid her bag on the table and stared out at the couples on
the floor, the overhead lights shining down on them.
Dance with me.
She pivoted and arched her brow at Clay.
You don t dance.
I do now. He held out his hand.
This she had to see. She slipped her hand in his and he led her to the floor. Something slow was
playing, a romantic song that filled her heart with longing, especially when Clay pulled her close, laid
his palm against her back and started moving her to the strains of the music.
It didn t take her long to realize he d lied to her.
You can dance.
He shrugged. Maybe a little.
You lied.
It s not my favorite thing to do. So I just say that I can t.
And you re making the ultimate sacrifice for me because& ?
Because I want to hold you. Because I miss you.
Her stomach clenched. You can have sex with anybody, Clay.
I don t want to have sex with anyone else anymore, Ella. I want to have sex with you. Just you.
Only you. Forever and ever. For as long as we both shall live.
Her heart stuttered. What?
I love you.
She stumbled a step and Clay s firm grip held her upright. She knew she gaped at him, at a loss for
words.
I know this isn t what you want, that you wanted no strings, someone to give you a good time in
Hawaii and nothing else. I m sorry, but I can t do that. I m wound around you tight, just like this thing
you re wearing. He tugged on the strings of her corset. I want strings, Ella. I want to be tied to you.
Now she really couldn t breathe. Take me out of here.
He gave a sharp nod, swept by the table so she could grab her purse, and led her out a side door
where his car was parked. She slid into the passenger side, her mind awhirl in everything he d said.
He loved her. He d damn near proposed to her. Right there on the dance floor.
Hadn t he?
Where do you want to go?
My house.
They drove in silence. Ella spent the entire time staring down at her tightly clasped hands, more
unsure of herself and her feelings than ever before. When they got to her house she fumbled in her
purse for her keys and ended up having to hand them over to Clay. He opened her door and she
stepped in, turned on the lamp next to the door, bathing the room in soft light. She laid her purse down
and he helped her out of her coat.
Would you like something to drink?
He shook his head. No. I want you to talk to me.
She moved into the living room, sat on the sofa. Clay followed and picked up her hands.
Your hands are cold. You re pale. I never thought a declaration of love would make a woman
sick.
She managed a laugh. I m not sick. Just& shocked, I guess. Here I thought I d be the one doing all
the talking and you beat me to the punch.
His brow furrowed. I don t understand.
She half turned to face him. Ever since James died I ve poured myself into work, into showing
everyone how strong I was, how I was able to cope and take care of myself. But the one thing I
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