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excitement over the successful debut of the new play. I was nervous about having you
in the audience. Your opinion means more to me than any critic s.
Ben smiled in the dark and turned to kiss David s cheek. It was the first time they d
been in bed together without making love, but he knew it was only because they were
both so tired. The fact neither felt compelled to have sex was proof, in his mind at least,
of how comfortable they were with one another.
He lay quietly, his eyes closing though his mind was still whirring. The meeting
with Carl seemed so long ago, though it was only that evening. He d had to rush to
make it to the theater in time. He d been so absorbed by the play he hadn t had a chance
to think about what Carl said. After the play, David invited him to the opening-night
cast party. David had been surrounded, the toast of the party, and there hadn t been
much chance to talk.
Carl s words came back to him now. I can see you don t know why he dropped out. Ask
him, why don t you? He recalled David told him he d dropped out of college after a
semester. He d been vague as to why and at the time Ben thought nothing more about
it. He wasn t of the opinion one had to have a college degree to be fulfilled or
successful. Clearly David was making his way in the world without that piece of
parchment, so what difference did it make?
Yet Carl s words unsettled him. Carl wasn t one to throw out idle threats. He
obviously knew something he considered damning about David, though why he hadn t
come out with it at the time was also something of a mystery. I won t do your dirty work
for you. Was that what he had said?
David was on his side, facing Ben, his arm flung lightly across Ben s waist. His
breathing was deep and regular and Ben realized he was asleep. Though he was
exhausted, his mind wouldn t shut down, troubled with questions and insinuations
Carl had put there.
It was unsettling, to say the least, to find out Carl had been snooping around about
his new lover. Clearly, though he d left Ben alone since the wedding, he wasn t yet over
the breakup. Did he really think digging up dirt on David was a way to win him back?
Whatever Carl had hoped to accomplish, Ben found himself wondering what
secrets David was keeping from him. Niggling seeds of doubt had wormed their way
into his brain, planted by his ex-lover, as no doubt was the intent.
46
Odd Man Out
What was the worst that could have happened? Drugs? Caught cheating on an
exam? It wasn t as if he d killed someone, for god s sake! Ben turned on his side, his
back toward the sleeping David. This was silly. He wouldn t let Carl s words get
between them. He d simply ask David in the morning and that would be that.
* * * * *
David awoke with a feeling of wellbeing, though for a moment he couldn t recall
why. Then the night before came back to him the successful opening, the accolades
from his peers and friends, and most of all, having Ben there to share it with.
He realized he was falling in love with Ben. Neither of them had yet said those
three fateful words, but he was pretty sure Ben was feeling the same way. He knew
they were still in the first flush of new love things might feel very different six months
from now. But at the moment he felt happy and grateful for the man still lying asleep
next to him. He glanced at the clock. It was only eight-thirty, but he felt refreshed and
ready to get up. He would make coffee and slip out to buy fresh croissants and fruit for
their breakfast.
When he returned from a successful outing at the nearby market, Ben was sitting at
the kitchen table, drinking coffee and reading the paper. I was hoping you hadn t left
without telling me! he said.
I took your keys, David said. I didn t want to wake you. Look what I got. He
opened the white paper bag, taking out the still-warm fragrant rolls and a container of
ripe, luscious raspberries.
I really should give you your own key, Ben said. I have an extra key to the
building. Remind me, I ll get it later. That way you could crash here during the day if
you ever needed to while you re doing modeling gigs or rehearsals or whatever.
David smiled broadly. Though he often stayed at Ben s during the week and Ben
had stayed with him on the weekends when he wasn t in a show, neither had talked
about moving in together. He d taken to packing an overnight bag in case they got
together during the week, but he hadn t wanted to put any pressure on Ben. Not that he
wanted to move in with someone, no thank you! David valued his independence far too
much to consider it.
Thanks, that would be great. I ll give you a key too, though I doubt you ll find
yourself in Queens with time on your hands, he laughed.
Hey, you never know, Ben answered.
They shared their breakfast in companionable silence. Over their second cup of
coffee, Ben said casually, You said you went to Hunter College for a while, right?
Yeah. Why?
Oh, no real reason. You mentioned you just went one semester. What happened to
make you drop out?
47
Claire Thompson
David glanced sidelong at Ben. What did he know? Was he just casually asking or
was there more to it? He looked into Ben s face, searching for the answer there. Things
were going so well between them. It had happened so long ago. He d paid his debt to
society. Did he really want to take the chance of ruining what they shared? On the other
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