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from this new record. I'm going for a new feel in the songs I
am mixing."
* * * *
By Friday's practice, the team was back in shape and
excited about their match against Waltham in two weeks. If
they won that meet, they would have successfully defeated
both teams that were potential contenders for winning the
division championship. It was motivation to keep them
pushing hard.
After practice, Josh asked the guys if they wanted to head
into Harvard Square for pizza. He had maintained a serious
demeanor in practice, most likely determined to ensure that
he did not suffer another loss like he had with Lexington. The
core group, Sean, Phil, and Power, immediately said they
would go. "How about you, Derek? Scott?"
Scott hadn't told the guys that he was under house arrest,
not wanting them to think that he was some wuss whose
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parents ruled his life. "I can't. I have a big calculus test
coming up and I need to hit the books."
Josh shrugged. "Suit yourself. Derek, you coming?"
Derek looked first at Scott, then at Josh. "Uh, maybe. I
have to run home first though. Maybe I'll catch up with you
guys later." Derek knew that Scott was feeling guilty about
not being able to spend more time with him, so he had
pushed the topic. Still, he couldn't fathom that Scott's parents
wouldn't at least let him out of the house on the weekend.
Risking the chance of placing Scott in a worse mood, he
decided to broach the topic. "Scott, I was wondering if you
might possibly be able to ask your dad if you could go out for
maybe a little while tomorrow or Sunday. Do you think that
he would say no to that?"
Scott turned to Derek with a sad look in his eyes. "I told
you, Derek. When my dad makes up his mind about
something, it's final until he changes his mind. He won't let
me off the hook, not even for five minutes on the weekend."
"I know, but I just thought ."
"I know what you thought and I'm telling you that he won't
allow it. All you're doing right now is making me feel even
worse about it."
Scott's comments stung. That was precisely what he had
not wanted to do. "Sorry, I just thought I would ask."
Scott's posture softened as he turned to Derek. "No, I'm
sorry. I know this is hard on you too and it's not fair. You
should go to Harvard Square and hang out with the guys.
There's no sense in both of us having a ruined social life
because of my problems."
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Wrestling With Desire
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"Naw, I think that I'll just head home and listen to my
music and continue mixing. I've been experimenting with new
sounds."
Scott placed his hand on Derek's shoulder. "You should
really go out and have fun. I feel guilty thinking that you are
putting yourself on house arrest along with me."
This is not what Derek wanted to hear. "I don't want to go
out with the guys. I want to go out with you." He hadn't
meant to sound petulant, but since it was already out, he left
it there.
Scott removed his hand from Derek's shoulder. "What do
you want me to do Derek? If I ask to go out it will only make
things worse. I've already told you. Once my calculus grade
comes back up, the restriction will be lifted."
A heated wave of irritation shot from his gut to his head.
His words escaped before his brain had a chance to force his
mouth to remain closed. "You aren't even willing to try to ask
for a break. You're just accepting this like your dad has the
right to treat you however he wants." He was sorry the
second he said it, but once again, he didn't take the words
back.
Scott's eyes flared as he grabbed the passenger side door
handle. "You don't know a thing about what my father is like.
You may not understand why I am settling for my dad's
treatment of me, but that's because you have parents who
don't expect perfection from you. Maybe if my mom would
stand up to him I'd be able to comply with your wishes, but
she won't. So I'm stuck. You don't have to be. Go have pizza
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Wrestling With Desire
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with the guys." With that, Scott got out of the car, slammed
the door, and walked into his house.
Derek was stunned by Scott's outburst. He knew that he
shouldn't have pushed the topic, but he half hoped that his
obvious desire to spend time with Scott would at least soften
him up a bit. He hadn't expected for Scott to get so angry.
As he drove himself home, he chastised himself for not
realizing that Scott had spent time thinking about the
differences between their parents. He felt kind of stupid. How
could he not have thought about it? Derek always knew that
his mom and dad were great. His next thought came as a
sudden blow. I've taken them for granted.
Scott did not have such a luxury. His father was gone most
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