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glasses here. Only as the words were exiting her mouth did
she realize they was true.
I ve got them, said Albert, holding up her sunglasses, and
his wineglass. Come on in. Join us for a drink.
She nodded, and went for the restaurant s front door, all
the while in a slight panic. Could she act normal? Could she
pretend she hadn t seen Ray exiting Linus s bedroom?
Linus and Albert watched her approach them. Albert
looked bemused; Linus smiled cheerfully. Poor oblivious
sucker, thought Peg.
The two old friends invited Peg to sit. Linus said, Night run?
She said, Just meandering.
You re sweating. And your face is red.
150 Valerie Frankel
Okay, I was running. Yes, she said.
Albert poured her a glass of the same Bordeaux she d had
at dinner. Do you always run barefoot? asked Albert. Like
those Kenyan marathoners?
Linus said, Let me see your feet.
Peg crossed her bare legs and lifted her left foot for inspec-
tion. It was dirty, but otherwise unharmed. She d been on
grass, after all.
Linus whistled. That s some foot.
Peg had always been self-conscious about her extra-large
hooves. You were expecting dainty lady s feet?
He said, I wasn t expecting the leathery sole of a Hobbit.
A party of six entered the restaurant. Albert excused him-
self to seat them. Peg said, I didn t know you were here.
I dropped off Luke and Tracy and came over. Albert and I
have a weekly cigar date.
Is Wilma still at church with Ray and Gloria? she asked
smoothly.
He shook his head. They re back. I said hello and good-bye
to them, then drove over here. I saw you and Ben on the road
walking back together.
So Wilma knows you re here?
Every Monday night, he said.
Albert rejoined them. Shall we? he asked. They all rose,
and Albert led them to a garden patio behind the restaurant.
The patio had a full bar, benches and tables, a trellis with pink
roses and a potted lilac bush, still blooming in July. Peg in-
haled the summer scents, wishing she d eaten out here in-
stead of inside. Albert must have read her thoughts. He said,
The tape recorder picks up conversation better indoors.
She nodded and said, Can we sit at the bar?
You like the bar? asked Linus.
I always sit at the bar, said Peg.
Even for dinner? he asked.
Definitely. Peg liked the long-legged chairs, plates on lac-
The Girlfriend Curse 151
quered mahogany, the colored bottles to look at while she ate.
They pulled up stools, Peg between the two men.
Linus would rather eat at the bar than at a table, too, said
Albert. Wilma never lets him. None of his girlfriends have let
him. He added, That s why he s never married.
Peg asked Linus, Restaurant seating is a make or break
compatibility issue?
Linus said, I try to compromise.
Speaking of compromise, Albert said, how is Wilma?
Linus said, Very well, thank you.
Stage-whispering to Peg, Albert said, I give it six months.
That s what you said six months ago, said Linus.
Albert produced two cellophane-wrapped cigars. He
handed one to Linus. For you, nothing but the best.
The men stoked their cigars. The bartender, a pretty woman,
barely old enough to serve alcohol, asked for their orders. Al-
bert suggested they try some new vodka from Poland. The bar-
tender poured the clear liquid over ice. A waiter came outside,
looking for Albert. Trouble in the kitchen, he said. Their host
excused himself, and handed his cigar to Peg.
Alone with Linus, she watched him sip his drink. Peg ad-
mired the way he drank it without grimacing, as if he gen-
uinely enjoyed the flavor of uncut vodka. He turned toward
her, his face guileless, the candles on the bar painting him in
shadow.
She said, In New York, the tabloids call the mayor Hiz-
zoner.
Linus nodded, cigar in mouth, smoke curling. The Upper
Valley News calls me Supreme Imperial Eminence.
They do not, she said.
Ask Albert.
Vermont humor seems to be based on gullibility.
Linus said, How d it go with Ben?
Peg said, Nice trick, the tape recorder.
You don t have to worry, he said. People gossip.
152 Valerie Frankel
You get off on subterfuge. Calling the cops on me. The
tape recorder, Peg said.
Just doing my job, he said.
Peg said, Let s talk about your job. Your other job. I can use
a friend in high places if I m going to survive in this town.
You ll do fine here, assured Linus.
How do you know? she asked.
Albert likes you, said Linus. He s a good barometer.
What did he say about me? she asked like an approval-
greedy pet.
He said, I like Peg.
What does that mean?
It means he wants to divorce his wife and run away
with you.
Peg asked, He does?
Linus laughed at her and shook his head. So much for
your quick study of Vermont humor. He sipped his vodka,
killing it. Albert doesn t make many qualitative statements. If
he says he likes you, that s what he means.
Peg thought of the millions of times she d heard New York-
ers say of someone they just met, I absolutely adore him. I
am madly in love with him. He could not be more fantastic.
Overstatement was the norm. A slice of pizza or well-tailored
jacket could provoke a declaration of undying devotion.
I like Albert, too, Peg said.
He also said I should break up with Wilma and go out with
you, Linus added.
She swatted him on the shoulder. I m not falling for it
again, you jackass.
He looked her squarely in the eye, and said, Are you going
to smoke that, or let Albert s cigar go to waste?
She took Linus up on the challenge. Sucking slowly, she got
a mouthful of blue smoke.
What was going on back at the Federal? he asked. Any-
thing I should know about?
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